Hey Everybody its Maddyyyy
The last 3 years since I had the Mastectomy surgery have been a whirlwind! I had no idea how many emotions would come with letting go of a piece of my physical body. For the most part, I was in survival mode and going through the motions of what needed to be done for me to live, so I didn’t have time to really feel the full experience of going through cancer.
There have been many changes. First, I want to say a huge thank you to all of the beautiful beings who supported me through my cancer journey; the ones who had to wash my hair and bathe me for weeks, the ones who had to listen to my crying, the ones who had to feed me and brush my hair. I will never forget the love you showed me during my time of need.
It was a humbling experience to go from independence to needing to be bathed! I never felt that level of frustration and confusion in my life, I felt like I lost all the control I thought I had in my life. Being an independent woman was a measure of success for me, and for it to be taken away, without being able do anything about it, was heart breaking and it filled me with feelings of frustration.
Later, when I was able to reflect on this experience, I recognized the silver lining. This was the fact that I had people in my life who loved me so much that they cared for me in ways I had never been cared for before, and without in any way making me feel like I was inconveniencing them. This felt like my first true experience of pure love and friendship.
Here we are 3 years later and I am so grateful. I am often brought to tears when I think back to how far I’ve come. I am doing it! I am thriving!!! Something I once knew nothing about since I was always in survival mode. Now I thrive so much that I feel like I am living in a different world. Yes, we are in a time of rest, loss, fear and grief, but I feel this time has allowed me so much room for self reflection. I am HERE! I am doing it! I am LIVING!
To top things off, the documentary I co-created with my dear friend Anika Syskakis is DONE!!!! It was an incredibly emotional journey that I cannot wait to share with you all. We are crossing our fingers it gets into film festivals all over Turtle Island.
Dancing Through is done! I had to say it again to confirm that it is real! Look Ma I created a film about surviving and tapping into the gift of dance, I really did it Ma! I hope you all can make it out to see it when it appears in your area. Thank you for giving me your strength and light, this is what has protected me throughout this journey.
We did it Anika!!! Now let’s share the light with the world!!!!
A note for you:
That dream or vision you have is real, so go make it a reality!!
Kinanâskomitin
Sukaskieskwew
